Singing Up for This...

So the other day I picked up the copies of our "Adoption Profile Book" from Office Max. I had the kids with me, as we were running errands. It had already been one of those days where in my head I knew that I was pushing them beyond their limit... and I had better watch out because it was going to to backfire at any second. We had been to a few stores, grabbed lunch, did a little grocery shopping, and now I'd drug them into Office Max (PUUUULEASE stop touching everything).

Like some looney tune I decided it would be a good idea to "just run these books up to the law firm" on our way home. At 2:30 pm. 30 minutes past nap time. With two cranky-pants in tow. One who had asked for a "NOLER BAR, Mommy. I huuuungry" about 500 times and the other who was on her 900th verse of "Little Sally Walker walkin' down the street. She didn't know what to do, so she stopped in front of me... and she said 'hey girl do your thing, do your thing, SWITCH!'"

So I pull in, rollin' in my minivan, at (you guys, I am not joking) the exact same time as Mr. I Am Just Returning From Court who is driving the uber-nice-uber-expensive Mercedes with a license plate that says (again, not making this up) WE W1N. Get that? The I is a #1. He shimmies out of his car b/c my minivan door is slid open and I kinda hugged too tightly to the white line. He's got his bluetooth in his ear and his Starbucks in his hand. I manage to get my children out of the car, who both now are sucking on suckers in an attempt to keep them quite during this process. I'm holding my purse, the 5 copes of books, and both of their hands.

Mr. W1N holds the door for us... and Hope and I thank him and walk through. Evan, however, has found a leaf he just has to have and is piddling around out of the door. "Evan, buddy, let's go. This nice man is holding the door for you. Evan, come on, please." LA-TI-DA. I'm sorry, Evan, did you not hear me!? "Evan Daniel, INSIDE, right NOW!" {Crickets}. Did I mention W1NNER is still holding the door? I'm sure he thought, "clearly this child does not listen to his Mother." He says to him, "Buddy, come on, let's go." Evan comes trotting in with his leaf and immediately starts BAWLING. Yep, he realized that we now have to get on the elevator. He's not a fan, to say the least. So now I have picked him up with one arm, as his sucker stickiness is oozing all over me. Did I mention I am SWEATING because it's fall and still 99 degrees here?

We somehow make it to the third floor. But not before Hope pushes the alarm button on the elevator "just to see what it does." Thankfully it was a loud buzz, but it was quick. I gave her the eyes like, "IF YOU TOUCH ONE MORE THING these eyes will burn right through you." Now we are on the floor that the law firm occupies. It's full of quite little offices and people in fancy suits. Clearly we fit right in. I ask for the paralegal, and as I am talking to the receptionist my kids are poking their heads in peoples offices. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE CHILDREN? By now my tone is very firm and a little loud, "Hope and Evan... GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW and SIT DOWN! Now. Over Here. Do. Not. Get. Up!" I then turn back to the receptionist and smile. For some reason I feel like she didn't find it as humorous. And I then see that the paralegal is standing there as well. Awesome. I'll show these people how awesome of a Mom I am. The paralegal was a hoot. She joked with me about the kids and I told her what an awesome idea this was. She assured me it was fine... "no big deal at all."

But guys, I am thinking she went back in her office and told the lawyer... "those Herrenbrucks... yeah, I am not so sure about them." :)

Friends, I am SIGNING UP to have a third child? Is anyone else the least bit concerned?

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My mind has been racing lately. RACING.

Who will our birth mom be?
What will she be like?
Will she want to meet us?
What will her circumstances be?
How quickly will we be matched?
What if she changes her mind?
Will the baby be ok?
If she's pregnant now, how is the baby?
Is she getting prenatal care?

Clearly I could go on... and on. So many thoughts, concerns, questions, and fears. A lot of excitement and definitely peace, but still I find my mind racing.

It's just so different when you are not physically carrying the child. Not that when you are carrying the child you have control either... but I think maybe you feel like you have control. You know? I mean, you know you're taking your vitamins, you know you are getting your ultrasounds, you know you're not eating deli meat for fear of Listeria.  You realize that something could go wrong, but something about having them in your womb feels so safe... and secure.

Thank you, friends, for praying for us. We are so blessed to have you all.